07 Mar Young & Ready For Marriage
So you have a beautiful daughter whom you have brought up on the foundation of Islam and you are thankful to Allah for His mercies, she comes home to tell you she is ready for marriage and wants your consent. What would you do? By the way she’s 16 years old.
Remember all her life you have taught her about chastity and told her to emulate women of faith from the time of the sahabas. Now she has come to you saying she gets tempted to engage in fornication and the societal pressure is weighing her down, as a young girl she’s beginning to understand her body and sexuality and she really doesn’t want to go astray. She also tells you there’s this young Muslim boy she likes and thinks about often and she knows he likes her too. They have spoken a few times while at the cafeteria and he’s keen on telling his parents he’s ready to marry too. What would you do? By the way, he’s 20 years old.
She’s in her first year in University and he’s in his final year. They want to do it right and they both seem like good children with a solid foundation in Islam. As a Mother, what would you do?
Would you give your consent counsel them and send them off? Outrightly say no and insist she finishes school? Give your consent, counsel and keep them within reach to give support? Relocate and never let her speak about boys till she’s a certain age? Honestly what would you do?
These days teenagers engage in sexual activities and are even advised on various forms of contraception. Is it okay to let the young ones play around as long as it’s not within the walls of a marriage? Should they be allowed to visit boyfriends/girlfriends and get heartbroken as long as they return home and most importantly do not bring the news of a pregnancy along with them? So many questions yet many shy away from answering.
This is a topic that affects a lot families today. As a Mother, what would you do? As a 16 year old making the decision what would you do/expect?
Photo Credit: 98five.com
Olaitan
Posted at 19:40h, 07 MarchHmm. I would be afraid but I’ll ask her to meet the boy in question. After meeting him and speaking with him, I would ask to meet his parents if they are also willing to meet with us. Then we would reach an agreement to let them get married but be within our reach until after sometime. I believe marriage for the right reasons is a blessing. If done right both children would live blissful lives in sha Allah.
anonymous
Posted at 05:44h, 10 MarchI will keep both of them close till we (both parents) are convinced they can be on their own. I definitely won’t shove her aside. They are real feelings we need to discuss about.
Zee
Posted at 09:13h, 15 MarchThis is a dicey one, i ll take a stand from what i know now. Masha Allah (As a person, i believe Allah will never burden a soul beyond comprehension, hence the situation will create its own solution albeit i ll apply wisdom) That being said, My 16 year old is my baaaabbbbyyyy and so its hard. 20 years old, yes (Sue me, i believe maturity comes with “age early or late bloomer”) The 4yrs make a significant difference.
As with young love, its always sincere and pure (So its so beautiful to know that 2 young-ins have found and also realized this love! Adults cant even identify the feeling)
I will allow for the bride price to be paid to established the union and have them have a controlled relationship probably delay consummating the marriage (This is in line with the Sunnah, i suppose) this is to buy my baby girl and the boo time to weigh in and understand the consequences of a beautiful yet responsibility filled relationship called marriage.
Another part of me just feels thus ” If your daughter brings him home at 16, i think you’ve done a good job training her on the path of the Deen” May Allah guide us aright always and give us children who will be the coolness of our eyes! Its not an easy one…