Do Istikhara Before Choosing That Friend!


Do Istikhara Before Choosing That Friend!

Salam alaikum sisters!

Here is a short story from a friend of the house, Zaynab Quadri. Zaynab shares what keeping good company means to her and how important it is to put the choice of the company we keep in the hands of Allah.

Read, enjoy and join us on the 14th of August 2016 at the MSG hub for more sharing sessions in sha Allah!

Prophet Muhammed (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wasalam) said, “The similitude of a good companion is like an owner of musk; if you don’t get anything, you will get the smell of it. The similitude of a bad companion is like the blacksmith’s bellows; if you are not affected by its black dirt, you will be touched by its smoke.”


My mother reverted to Islam when she was pregnant with me while doing her NYSC in Lagos.

She will tell me beautiful stories of the sisters and friends who made her convert to Islam.

She still tells me grandeur stories of how these friendships shaped her and allowed to become who she is today.

Fast forward 20 years after, I was serving in the creeks of Bayelsa, I was really lonely.

Really lonely.

But when I was about to become friends with a random person at the corpers lodge, I will remember the hadith about how staying alone is better than keeping bad friends.

Then gradually I cultivated this habit of praying istikhara before getting close to people.

Alhamddulillah this has worked for me so far.

Why so serious right?

It is sad that we take choosing a spouse serious, but not friends. Only if we knew the importance of surrounding ourselves with good people.

The Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, often spoke to his companions about the value of good companionship.  He emphasized the need to surround ourselves with good people.

“And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer (oppressor, polytheist etc.) will bite on his hand, he will say: ‘Oh!  Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger.  Ah!  Woe to me!  Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend!  He indeed led me astray from the Reminder (the Quran) after it had come to me.'” (Quran 25:27)

It is very important to keep the company of people who have great concern for the condition of their hearts and determination to reach the highest levels in the Deen.

“Content yourself with those who pray to their Lord morning and evening, seeking His approval, and do not let your eyes turn away from them out of desire for the attractions of this worldly life, and do not yield to those whose hearts We have made heedless of Our remembrance, those who follow their own low desires, those whose ways are unbridled.” (Quran 18:28)

Does this mean you should abandon your friends? Ask yourself sincerely, do they make you better in your religious or worldly life? If not, then it is time to say goodbye.

There is no need to embarrass or shame them. Believers must never embarrass or publicly harass one another.  They must never expose each other’s faults.  Kindness and mercy must be evident in all dealings.

Just like breaking off that unrewarding arrangement or resigning from that disadvantageous job, do it in a respectable manner.

Remember that whoever conceals (the fault of) a Muslim, God will conceal his fault on the Day of Judgment.

We should all be careful in choosing friends, and study the character of those with whom we wish to be friends with.

Remember “The friends on that Day will be enemies of one to another, except al-Muttaqeem (the Righteous).” [al-Zukhruf: 67]

May Allah grant us friends who will help us become better Muslims. Ameen

  • Asake Okim
    Posted at 01:46h, 10 August Reply

    Jzk for the post. ThanksZee for sharing.

    I have never thought about doing Istikhara before making a non “spousial” or career decision

    During my secondary days ( that makes me sound old ), for you to observe salat regularly – you have to roll with people who also observe salat regularly, those one that have to leave 5mins early so you can pey before prep, before dinning hall time sometimes even come to the mosque during break time to repay Missed Fajr
    I didn’t use to do Istikhara for career decisions till I got chatting with my non Muslim friend one day about my careee and she asked if I had prayed about it. I said No. Her response was “Always ask God before you voice it out to any human”

    I think we can all think of a good example with respect to keeping good company

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